Aftermath

How many friends can we have in our life?

Real friends, friends that we really care for, and they really do care about us?

I thought I'm doing great in handling all kinds of friendship after years studying far from home, meeting people from different background and culture...

Daddy used to say that I've been too naive, always..

And I thought he's wrong about it, thinking that I've seen alot of people, people that are meant to be hi-bye friends classmate kind of friends and friends that really care about me...

But I'm wrong..

Just because people that I care have been caring and loving me back..

Just because my friends are so nice to me, each and every one of them..

I LOVE EACH ONE OF YOU

And now.. I have to admit that its really tough for me to step out of my comfort zone..

To be aware that people might have totally different perceptions and thoughts..

I have never realise that I've been putting high hopes and too much trust on others..

I have been automatically assuming that people will return same amount of love to me... 

I thought I have already got over it long time ago..

But because of a small drama, I realised that I actually had the fear planted in my heart. 

No matter how much I tried, I couldn't erase the scar left in my heart.

I came back with smile on my face, hoping for a brand new year.

I were there for you, but I guess I wasn't the person that you need.

And slowly I learnt to let it flow away with time..

Without noticing that I am still carrying the past with me..

Little did I know it has made me became insecure in friendship..
I'll just gotta say, reality is as cruel as I've been told...

But I will be strong, to face the cruelty.

I will hold on to my faith, my love, my personality, I'm not gonna bound down to the cruelty of the reality. 

I still believe that there are nice people around, just like my old friends, and I will still treat people as how I used to be..

Time is hard now, because it's time for me to learn, and to grow up.

But I will grow stronger, to be a better person.